Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. What do you see in this picture. I’ll tell you what I see…I see Zuri, the black backed jackal, chillaxin in a cushy chair. The problem with this is have you ever seen a picture of Vlad, everyone’s favorite fox, sitting in a comfy chair?? The correct answer to that inquiry is no, I have not. That is because Vlad, the most important ambassador, has never been invited to sit in this exquisite chair. Sure there are pictures of me sitting on metal chairs and sure if I were to sit in a chair with such a wonderful cushion I would surely eat it or 💩 on it but that is no excuse for depriving Vlad, the linchpin of this operation, of this creature comfort.

Now I shouldn’t take this personally as I know the jackals are being socialized so they can be good ambassadors and as such management is spending a lot of time with them but it’s hard for Vlad, the big kahuna, to not look at this as a slight. I guess I will just need to let the staff here know about my dissatisfaction with this situation. They will no doubt quickly remedy it as they can’t have Vlad, the star attraction, being in any way disgruntled. I’m sure I will have my own comfy chair lickidy split. Of course I will immediately destroy it but I will have the satisfaction of knowing I am valued. When you’re as humble as I am, when anyone goes out of their way to validate me, it feels good. No doubt I will speak to you next time from my new comfy chair.

Vlad, the most precious fox that ever was or will be, out